Some people are just so full of disappointment that I can no longer expect anything from them except that they will only disappoint me.

I do not look forward to these people no matter how pleasant they are. That is one thing I cannot tolerate.

/frustration

Sometimes, I feel like I miss high school. Well, not "high school" specifically. More like, I feel like I miss the person that I was. You know, daring, obnoxious - full of life and energy. Those were the crazy years that got my adrenaline pumping. The poster I did for Shannon, the senior prank that went unnoticed, the countless times I risked my life climbing up the gym, the defiance of authority for expressing myself and what I can do - they were the times I felt like I could do anything. Nothing was holding me back, not even the standards of society. I didn't care how I dressed or looked. I didn't care about what other people thought. I did my own thing, and that's what mattered.

Nowadays, I'm stuck at home and limited with opportunities to express myself. I feel like there's so much energy being held inside that it is driving me crazy. In my life as of right now, there are only two things that I have: work and trombone. I have some things pending right now, but who knows how long that will be. Not going to school has made it even worse now that there is plenty of time on my hands. I want to start so many things, but I'm not sure where to start. I have the drive and I have the ambition, but I'm lacking motivation. I'm relying on people to start doing things with me, but I'm not so sure why. I have a lot of time on my hands, and it's so easy to be lazy. These are the times where I need to do something with my life, without limit and without distractions. With that said, these are my goals:

-Learn sound recording and sound engineering
-Be familiarized and get into the production business (learn to be a producer)
-Get on with the new band
-Write some songs, compose some melodies
-Arrange some songs, explore my inner musicianship
-Practice jazz piano, check out and learn the different techniques
-Pick up the guitar and learn some shit
-Pick up some students for trombone
-Find a new, higher-paying job
-Bboy, even if it's by myself
-Perform and join groups
-Pick up the phone and ask people out. To hang out

All do-able. I need to fill up my time.